I Don't Think

I don’t think he knows

That the mere threat already sends a blow to the face

I don’t think he sees

That the tears falling from the eyes aren’t because of the pain

I don’t think he’s heard

The whimpers of sleepless hours for visions of the past

I don’t think he’s seen

The bruises that have been concealed from even him

I don’t think he wonders

About the thoughts of the beaten when all is now quiet

I don’t think he worries

About the many knives the hand has held

I don’t think he cares

About the hysteria that grasps the soul and races the heart

I don’t think he’s thought

Of the killing effect on the mind

I don’t think he feels

The nails that break through veins and skin

I don’t think he hears

The silent screams of the visions that show blood

I don’t think he wonders

If the alleged demons really do attack the child

I don’t think he’s thought

If the shaking is more than an affect of the Holy Ghost

I don’t think he’ll care

If I try to tell him what’s wrong

I don’t think he’ll notice

If I finally break the skin

I don’t think he’ll hear

The whimpers of pain and fear

I don’t think he knows

That my fingers still twitch now and again

I don’t think he’ll understand

If I try to explain the insanity

I don’t think he’ll react

If he sees his child in a deeper pain

But most of all

I don’t think he’s the villain

That lurks in the walls and tortures my mind

I don’t think his words

Are the reasons I’m lost in the world

I don’t think he knows

That what he does affects me in this way

Because if he did I think he would surely stop

I don’t think he’s the bad guy

I don’t think he’s abusive

I don’t think he hates me

I don’t think he’s crazy

I don’t think he’s evil

I don’t think he stupid

I don’t think he’s the one that messed up my mind or even if my mind is messed up at all.

But then again…

I don’t think