At Ease

August 13, 2012
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As each element of my being
grew more and more in depth with yours,
I fell into the formation of your love.
Then love marched me forward and
carried
me into your arms.
I drew in close and near to your heart.
When I paid
attention
I could feel it beating with time.
And when I listened closely,
its cadence began to step with mine.

Mine.


Is what I had thought you would always be.
Forever and always.
For eternity.
But just as love is insightful,
it is blind
you see;
For I always loved you,
but never
did you love me.

I sounded out my love for you.
Up front
for all to see.
Presented my arms,
my heart,
my all
to you.
Unconditionally.
Even though I knew
I was just plain crazy.
But your command and strength overwhelmed me.

Honor.
Courage.
Commitment.

I honored your word,
believed you honored mine.
Courage
To boldly proclaim I loved you
and put my heart out on the line.

For you.
For us.
Committed to your every need,
and wish.
And put aside mine.

As the elements of my being grew more into depth with yours,
I could feel myself drawing closer to your heart.
Slowly its cadence fell out of line,
and
we,
fell apart.
And now my love
draws to
a
halt.
Blame me
all you want,
but it is not my fault.

I have been fighting this battle for long enough.
I am tired.

I have taken the bullets,
I am wearing the scars,
and amongst the rebel,
I don't even know who you are.

Anymore.

Steadfast,
hold still.
Was it really I who said I love you and always will?
Oh.
Easier said than done.
For my patience with waiting for you has slim down
to
none.

Sir, aye, sir.
This broken heart is requesting permission to recover,
But wait,
not permission from you.
For you are the reason for all the tribulations I have been through.

I do not hate you.
I salute you.
Hurting me ,
but allowing me to learn from it
and pull through.
And now I shall move on,
I will be soon be squared away,
For enough is enough;
This heartbreak ends today.

You have utilized this deck for much too long,
This heart of mine has got to move on.
Cut the lies,
And save the melodrama.
Please.
I do not need your attention,
I am no longer under your command.
I stand,
Alone.
But I stand
At ease.





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