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Orchid
August 12, 2012
I know what happened to the orchid.
I saw her pushed aside,
rejected,
for a rose.
Rare and sweet,
smooth and timid,
she was picked
and dropped
for a rose.
A pretty rose
with thorns,
scratching and tearing away at clothes.
And when the clothes were gone,
what happened?
Thorns met skin
and left scars,
just like the orchid.
I know what happened to the orchid.
© Tommy H., Marlow, OK
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This article has 8 comments.
Pika_Princess said...
on Aug. 25 2012 at 1:47 am
Fantastic! The symbolism and meaning behind this is so amazing and so well expained. I loved your use of flowers (especially the rose, because those are obviously my favorite flowers in the whole wide world). Your message rings out loud and true and you still leave a bit more for the reader to infer, which is a great thing. I truly loved this! Please write more...and make them about roses too!!
Mashley310 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 18 2012 at 5:30 pm
Ahhhhh!!! I gets it now! :-)
Mashley310 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 18 2012 at 9:34 am
I really liked the symbolism! It's always nice to read a poem that leaves a little bit for the reader to infer, and yours definately did. I was a bit confused at the end though, because it sounded like the orchid was leaving scars like the rose, and I didn't think that's what you were trying to say? Aside from that though, it was great! :-)
Kiki_McGee GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2012 at 10:26 am
Oh, poor orchid! I absolutely love the symbolism used in this poem and the message that you are trying to send but the ending was a tad misleading. The ending almost sounds as if you are comparing the two flowers when I believe that what you were trying to say was how the rose damaged the orchid. other than that, great job!
Sweet, but needs a bit revision. The plot and the theme is obviously prime, and unique in a particular way. But the denial of importance to the orchid because the rose took its place seems a bit like jumping to conclusions. After all, everything has its own unique place in this world. From the narrator's point of view(you being the narrator), the plot is beautifully laid. Although I can't say this for myself, free-verse poems ought to have a bit of condensation. A bit of refinement and it will be perfect. Good luck on your future writing:)
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