Orchid

August 12, 2012
By RynnTopia SILVER, Needville, Texas
RynnTopia SILVER, Needville, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 8 comments

I know what happened to the orchid.
I saw her pushed aside,
rejected,
for a rose.
Rare and sweet,
smooth and timid,
she was picked
and dropped
for a rose.
A pretty rose
with thorns,
scratching and tearing away at clothes.
And when the clothes were gone,
what happened?
Thorns met skin
and left scars,
just like the orchid.
I know what happened to the orchid.



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This article has 8 comments.


Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 11 2013 at 3:47 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Very H.D. Similar to some of her works with the symbolism and theme. Easy to understand and relate to. Concise and precise. *laugh* Don't mean to sound cheesy.

on Aug. 25 2012 at 1:47 am
Pika_Princess, Escondido, California
0 articles 0 photos 118 comments
Fantastic! The symbolism and meaning behind this is so amazing and so well expained. I loved your use of flowers (especially the rose, because those are obviously my favorite flowers in the whole wide world). Your message rings out loud and true and you still leave a bit more for the reader to infer, which is a great thing. I truly loved this! Please write more...and make them about roses too!!

on Aug. 18 2012 at 5:30 pm
Mashley310 BRONZE, Rowlett, Texas
2 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They always forget the last part of that saying: curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back" its something to that effect anyway." - Tamora Pierce

Ahhhhh!!! I gets it now! :-)

on Aug. 18 2012 at 12:37 pm
RynnTopia SILVER, Needville, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 8 comments
-chuckles- I'm glad that all of you are understanding what I did at the end. It isn't a mistake. The orchid is a scar, and it is leaving scars because it is missed by the person who dropped it. Thank you for commenting and rating <3

on Aug. 18 2012 at 9:34 am
Mashley310 BRONZE, Rowlett, Texas
2 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They always forget the last part of that saying: curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back" its something to that effect anyway." - Tamora Pierce

I really liked the symbolism! It's always nice to read a poem that leaves a little bit for the reader to infer, and yours definately did. I was a bit confused at the end though, because it sounded like the orchid was leaving scars like the rose, and I didn't think that's what you were trying to say? Aside from that though, it was great! :-)

on Aug. 15 2012 at 10:26 am
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

Oh, poor orchid! I absolutely love the symbolism used in this poem and the message that you are trying to send but the ending was a tad misleading. The ending almost sounds as if you are comparing the two flowers when I believe that what you were trying to say was how the rose damaged the orchid. other than that, great job!

on Aug. 15 2012 at 9:27 am
RynnTopia SILVER, Needville, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 8 comments
hmm...Your review gave me a new perspective, which is awesome. Thanks so much for your input :)

Dynamo DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 15 2012 at 4:02 am
Dynamo DIAMOND, Lahore, Other
54 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
I used to think falling in love would be personal. But it's all a big public show.

Sweet, but needs a bit revision. The plot and the theme is obviously prime, and unique in a particular way. But the denial of importance to the orchid because the rose took its place seems a bit like jumping to conclusions. After all, everything has its own unique place in this world. From the narrator's point of view(you being the narrator), the plot is beautifully laid. Although I can't say this for myself, free-verse poems ought to have a bit of condensation.   A bit of refinement and it will be perfect. Good luck on your future writing:)


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