Pride

Go through the day
Keep your head down
Don’t speak to anyone
Don’t meet their eyes.
Try to blend in
And stay invisible
Take care, you know what happens if you fall
It’s happened before.
Don’t forget that time
When you tried the other way
When you strayed off the beaten path
And took a darker road.
Keep in mind
How you barely survived
And if you slip again,
You know you won’t make it out.
Remember what it was
That kept you alive
That kept you breathing
When there was no air left.
Down there in the dark
Time lost all meaning
You lost all rational thought
And all good things had fallen.
You held on
‘Cause you believed in the fire
Because you knew there was warmth and beauty
Even if you couldn’t see it.
But you were brave enough
Proud enough to climb out
All on your own
You survived, and it made you stronger.
Covered in dirt
Every bone was broken
You were aching all over
And bleeding everywhere.
You waited in the shadows
Watching the sunlight just beyond
Biding your time
Healing your wounds.
You thought someone would notice
You thought your friends would see.
But no one came to help you
And you had thought they cared.
So you did it on your own
You held it all in
You bit your tongue
And taught yourself to walk.
And when everyone doubted you
When everyone laughed at you
And said you couldn’t do it
You faced the pain and took your first steps.
The face you showed the world
Was confidant, unbroken
But on the inside, you knew
Your heart had cracked when they dropped it.
The hurt on the outside faded
But deep within
Where no one saw it
The scars had stayed.
Where once it was soft
Your heart had hardened
You knew better now
You wouldn’t trust them again anytime soon.
You broke all your ties
Froze out every connection
Left all that behind
And reinvented yourself.
Even then, you were proud
You turned away from anyone who might offer to help
You were strong
And you never wanted to fall again.
So cold, so empty
Your life, if you could call it life
Was a living death
A wasteland of destruction.
Two different people
One broken, one carefree
One real, one nothing but a façade
A mask to hide the pain.
In your pride you refused to admit it
Kept your eyes dry and refused to cry
Tears were a weakness,
And the proud were never weak.
Even when you felt like you would choke on the grief
Even when you felt like you just might lose it
You held your head high
You kept a stiff upper lip.
You’d lost that innocence
You’d lost all illusions.
That rosy curtain that had screened you from reality?
It tore and burned.
Hold on to that pride
It’s all you’ve got left.
Believe you can do it
You’ve made it through worse.
Grit your teeth and stick it out
It’ll all be ok in the end
This time you’ll make it
This time you’ll live.
In the end, that’s what matters
Who cares if your hurts pile up
Keep your head high
Hold on to your pride.





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