I feel like I don’t belong in this world. I cannot contain my emotions any longer. It’s gotten so bad I can’t hang out with my friends anymore. I can’t go swimming, can’t go shopping, and can’t even get out of bed sometimes. I feel as though I am being judged by everyone who sees me. I just want to be myself but I can’t because I am afraid no one will accept me. I feel alone, like there is no one that could understand me. I want to be butterfly, a beautiful butterfly that everyone adores and smiles at its beauty and I want to be free without boundaries. When I try to explain how I feel to my friends, I end up just changing the subject because I’m afraid I will be judged. When I try to explain to my boyfriend, he can’t understand my problems because he’s just too perfect. I feel unworthy. I feel useless. I feel lonely in this big world with all the people that claim they love me but for some reason, I can’t believe them. I feel as though love is something only pretty girls get, and I just don’t make the cut. I feel depressed, like there is nowhere else for me to turn. I’m just stuck. I feel like I don’t belong in this world.
August 7, 2012