July 31, 2012
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I feel so lost
In a long way ahead of me
The lights are on
And I do have a map with me
But still, I can’t reach where I’m headed
My eyes are blinded with something I can’t recognize….
My life is meaningless,
If you could it call it much of a life though…
When everything I do is an order,
When every move I do is counted in a red agenda,
When every tear that drops from my eyes is put at the bottom of a glass transparent jar,
When every blood drop that falls from my wounds turns rusty brown because it finds no one to clean it up,
When every look by my eyes is monitored by radars around me,
When every word said by my tongue is previously programmed into my system,
When every breath I take hurts like a knife cutting through my ribs,
When every beat of my heart aches like being crushed under the pointed edges of a seesaw,
When every second passes, I pray and wish that this wretched life would end so soon,
Soon enough that I would feel no more pain…No more tears…. No more torturing….
No more stabs against my heart…
And I stay here, lifeless, inhaling loneliness,
Waiting for this day to come,
Waiting to see the dashing orange-red circle, they call the sun,
While it is rising through the huge dark clouds,
Erasing every dark memory with its shining,
Removing every stab of pain with its light rays,
Forming a bright world full of peace and love,
Taking me along…… but I just hope I’ll fit in…
And I won’t go running back to the dark attic once more,
I truly hope so….

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