Light always fades away while it seems that your dark past and issues are always there to stay.
I carried around a big weight hoping maybe in return the outcome of it would cause the darkness to fade away.
This little, big weight I'm referring to is also know as hate.
It consumes, abuses, and uses me causing my heart to fade away.
Not knowing how to express these emotions I bottle them up hoping that they will stay hidden within the cuts I make.
Self-infliction has almost become a slight addiction.
Need I remind you that there is no other way to express exactly what I want to say.
I feel like I'm yelling at the top of my lungs and not even the most listening ear can hear what I have sung.
Hiding beneath the shadows is a part of me who wants to seek,
But I have no one in which that part of me can speak.
But what shall I do until my time is up?
Have another glass or fill up another cup?
My heart is stuck and no one can move it, so I guess I have to deal with it.
Trusting and believing there would be a better day was the greatest mistake I ever made.
Trying to wash away the tears from their eyes has left me with no one to help dry...my eyes.
Making sure everyone else is ok has left me standing here alone today.
From the outside looking in most would say I'm doing great, but the question is "really, am I?"
I wish I had no more tears to cry and I wish I heard no more lies.
But it seems as though all of my wishes never come alive...
The only thing I hear are lies...
And the only thing I see in my eyes is the gate way to hell....the devil wants to capture my soul and I almost am willing to sell.
With all these different shades of different days it's hard to tell whether or not this darkness will fade away.
It doesn't matter time how many times you say you're sorry you will never ever be family to me.
I think maybe, just maybe it's time for me to pray.
It's almost as if there is nothing to live for...hopefully maybe it's you and not Satan knocking at my door.