That Bloody Sun

July 23, 2012
By , Colden, NY
It will never end.

I realize this.
It eats through me.

I’ve tried to stop him.
Save the others.
The girls
The ones stuck
In his delusional cycle.

I’ve been out for 9 months now.
The first one out.
I carry the pain and burden.

I almost killed myself once.
I thought the pain would end.

Last night.
I realized that
No matter what I do.
No matter if he’s stopped.
I’ll still feel the pain.

I feel as though I’m stuck
In that downwards cycle.
That the others are stuck in.

I thought I was out,
I thought I was better.
I thought I was done with the pain.
The suffering.
The yearning to breathe free
In a world where I was smothered
By pain

But then I see the sun
It smiles at me
And says,
“Come outside.
Breathe free
Breathe the fresh air.”

And I think the pain might lessen.
It just might.

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