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The Day That I Starred In The Play

The day that I starred in the play
Was busy and unnerving
I hurried backstage with my costar, Paige
To join the other undeserving
We chatted excitedly about the show
Before going through makeup and hair
Then ran through the lines that we should know
Got into costume and stepped outside to get air
My mother, you should know, was very excited
To hear that I’d gotten a part
She invited the whole family and half of the town
Convinced that this show was a work of art
Upon returning backstage
I exchanged Good lucks with Paige
And we both prepared for the worst
“Just like we rehearsed,” said Mrs. Hearst
And up the curtain flew
I looked out into the audience
And spotted dreadfully reliable Aunt Sue
Surely enough, seated next to her, was also Cousin Drew
You should have seen their faces when I forgot my lines in scene two



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DynamoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 4, 2012 at 4:11 am:
Random thoughts, I'd say. This poem isn't exactly the greatest work of art(to be realistic), but still it has some elements that most great works lack. For instance,it has the power to evoke feelings(pathos), it quintessentially is humorous, and it is reflective and true. Don't ask me how its reflective, but I think it shows that what actually happens is often portrayed as a part of the scene(in live shows) to prevent embarrasment. Other than that, it's good. What's more to s... (more »)
 
realbeautifulheart replied...
Sept. 4, 2012 at 9:15 am :
Yep, it really is a bunch of random thoughts. Thanks for the input!
 
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Ga-GahKayMarie said...
Aug. 18, 2012 at 3:36 pm:
This to me is adorable and sweet, how a parent will say to everyone how amazing and how good their child is :) you can be horrible and the worse but they will still tell you your the best :) I really liked this poem, only comment would be to add some more punctuation, though in poetry I dont think there are rights and wrongs. Therefore it is fine just the way it is!
 
realbeautifulheart replied...
Aug. 19, 2012 at 10:40 am :
Exactly! And, thanks. :)
 
KnitsandPurls replied...
Aug. 19, 2012 at 2:16 pm :
Cute idea and you got your point across. However, (I hate howevers when people give them to me) you had some faulty phrasing, and I think an inconsistent rhyming pattern. You need to self-edit a bit more, make this wonderful poem a bit more, well, polished. Cheers! P.S-- If you want to critique some of my stuff like I just did to you, you can look at "Old Friends", "Lake Superior Shore" "She is a Dancer", or "Snowballs and the New Year"... (more »)
 
realbeautifulheart replied...
Aug. 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm :
Thanks :) I understand what you mean, but this poem wasn't one of my serious works. Other pieces I would've edited more, but this one was just kind of fun and I wanted people to get it without over-analyzing. Ya know? I'll be sure to check your stuff out. Have a great day!
 
KnitsandPurls replied...
Aug. 23, 2012 at 7:29 am :
Yeah, I get what you mean. I recently was approved a silly rhyming poem called "Ode to Dr. Seuss". Same deal. :)
 
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