I have to say that death terrifies me
It fascinates me at the same time
You can die in you sleep, commit suicide, or have a tragic death from circumstances
So many options for such a terrible thing
But life happens and it is often unexplainable
My friend committed suicide and for the longest time I blamed myself
What more could I have done for her?
Could I have done anything?
She hung herself in her parent’s backyard
I still remember the moment I found out
I collapsed with a slice of cheese pizza in my hand
I fell to the floor in a fit of tears
My brother thought I was dying
I wasn’t dirty; I had been in the pool
But I felt the need to cleanse myself
I took a hot shower
I sat in the bathtub for what felt like hours questioning life
And what happened to my dear friend
She was my role model when I went through rough patches
And I couldn’t return the favor
I thought and thought
I was in there so long my parents were worried
I couldn’t talk about it for a long time
I still tear up when I remember her and some memories I have of her
I always think of what happened with her life, what could have gone so wrong for her
Her family loved her
She was very talented
She was loved and adored by all
I don’t think any of us every imagined that she could fall
I used to want to know what she was thinking when she was up in the tree so tall
Right before she did the one thing that could never be fixed
I hope she was happy
That she finally knew no more pain
This girl was beautiful
I would have given anything to be there
To save her from herself
It was the first time I really knew death
It tore me up
It destroyed the way I viewed the carefree youth of today
Everything and everyone can make a difference
What if the person who had served her last meal had told her to have a good day?
It would be like a light switch, flipping her mood for the better
Every time I see anything that reminds me of her
Cheese pizza, long black hair with red streaks, black yoga pants, or even certain words
I feel like doing something for someone else
It could be the last thing that they ever hear or you could be the last person someone sees