Cutting.

By
I walk these empty streets
With only the cuts on my arms
The one thing that gives me comfort
The blade in my pocket
The culprit of the crime
The one thing that loves me just as much as I love it

No one cared
No one wondered why I loved black so much
No one thought that I wore the sweat shirts to cover the cuts
No one saw the pain behind the mask
No one heard the cries for help at night
No I didn't let the tears fall
No matter how much I wanted people to listen

But I knew no matter what they wouldn't run down my cheeks
I want to be a normal teenager
But I can't be normal
Not with all these secrets that no body knows

These secrets that have been just sitting in my brain waiting to come out
I fell in love with the feeling of having the blood drip from my arm to the floor under me
I can't stop the feeling
I know I need help but I don't know how or who to ask
I am afraid that I won’t get help in time
That I will pass to the next world before meeting my love

I have fears
I don’t act like it
But I have fears that no one knows about

This deep depression is going to kill me
I know it will
I am afraid of when that is
I’m scared that these deep wounds will end up infected

I know people have tried to help but I just keep going back
It’s like a drug
It’s like a high
A high that I don’t want to come down from
I am afraid that if I do come down all that pain will come back to me
Please don’t take that high away

I wish I didn't go down that rode
But I did now I am going to have to pay the price
The price of being ashamed and addicted
The feeling that will never go away
I don't want any one to go though what I am going though
Please if you want to cut
Put down the blade and read this poem
I wish I did that
But I didn’t

Now that price is paid
I can step way from the blade
I can be who ever I want to be
But every time I take my sweatshirts off
I see the shame
I feel the pain
I hear the cries for help

Then I turn on the music
Then all the shame pain and cries go away
I am proud of what I have done
Now if only I didn't pick up the blade in the first place





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