What Am I Feeling?..

July 7, 2012
What am I feeling?...
I cant explain,
but there's something inside me bubbling up.
is it anger?
I don’t know.
is it sadness?
I don’t know.
Is it frustration?
I don’t know.
Is it all of these things combined?
Possibly.
I cant find the words to express what I am feeling.
I try and try to put my feelings together and come up with a word but,
no just loss of words.
What am I feeling?...
The bubbling gets stronger,
and I feel like I'm suffocating.
My vision is blurred.
I get a narrow perspective,
and I see only the negative point of view.
There is coldness,
and extreme heat.
And they are exchanging there greetings.
At times it is a fast how ya doing but,
also a slow introduction.
What am I feeling?....
The bubbling is combined with a nauseous
and empty feeling,
in the pit of my stomach.
Thoughts rush.
Filling my head with;
“What if's”,
“No one's”,
“Ill never”,
“I cant”
and,
“Why not”.
Hate, is that what I'm feeling?
No that's not it.
Uggg!!!
What am I feeling?!!!
My heart is racing.
My blood is rushing.
My head is pounding.
My eyes are on fire.
My mouth is dry and,
my throat is sticking together.
My hands begin to shake.
My voice cracks, and I cant speak what I want to say.
Is this weakness?
I don’t know.
What am I feeling?!!!
I start to sweat,
and my lip trembles.
I clench my fists together,
to give me some sort of grasp.
The bubbling starts to grow bigger and bigger.
While the negative thoughts racing and racing.
The bubbling feeling rolls up my throat,
slowly but fast.
What am I feeling?!!!!
Is it Depression?
I don’t know.
Is it fear?
I don’t know.
Is it heart break?
I don’t know.
Suddenly,
a cold watery substance rolls down my face.
A tear...
Then a shower of tears.
All of this while sorrowful moaning,
is the local public broadcast,
played by my heart.
But that same question is still lingering around,
asking, wondering the same old question......
what am I feeling?...





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