Private Hell

I am the one who will
Tear myself to shreds.
And yet my sorrows still spill,
my life is becoming a complete dread.

While I struggle for victory,
My soul lays flat on the floor.
Just like Heaven and Hell are contradictory,
My soul just wants to soar.

People spit in my face,
Burn like a poisonous kiss.
Laced with hate and disgrace
How will I know if I am even missed.

So I lift the glass to my lips,
While the world disappears in an alcoholic aroma.
My life and problems have now been eclipsed,
As I lose myself in an insomniatic coma.

Suffocating in a sea of Novocain,
To forget the worries of tomorrow.
It still does not ease my excruciating pain,
It does not end my everlasting sorrows.

I try to reach for God’s hand,
But I am slowly failing.
With these words as my last stand,
My faith is quickly bailing.

Therefore please ask yourself,
Because I know these roads all to well,
How can we find ourselves,
When we are trapped in our own private Hell?