How to Feel

July 14, 2012
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Harsh words - loud lies,
Conversations turned from sweet to sour.
Just think of what cold have happened
had I not opened my mouth,
outpouring of truths:
Things you don't care about.

I could have been happy,
the ringing of sweetness in my ear-
or rather my face;
You don't say sweet things to my ear.
But I don't like to be told how to feel,
so I tell you the truth instead.

Vague questions, deserving thought
are met with ambiguity:
Maybe this, possibly that-
Underlying answer, please read:
"I don't want to think about this,
I beg you, don't ask again"

But I do ask,
and ask, and ponder and question
Your intentions, my resolve-
on the circle, circling 'round and 'round
Tell me something sweet, take it back,
call me names - repeat.

And so the cycle goes,
day in, day out, everyday - everlasting.
Then I ask my vague question,
to which you answer with ambiguity-
When all I craved was yes or no,
the oft written: maybe

Ask again tomorrow
or never ask again at all.
My feelings are really nothing-
Just a face, a body
a being which to say sweet things to,
then quick, snatch them back.

Was I ever anything,
except a face to lie to?
Sweet words - loud lies,
Things that should have been left unsaid.
Who am I to question this?
Then again-
I don't like to be told how to feel

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