Betrayal

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The trust I had, the things I thought,
It must have never mattered.
You said you care, and I believed you,
But I was wrong.
You never cared, you were never really there.
You weren't always there when I needed you,
Not even when I needed you most.
You used me. You hurt me and laughed at my pain.
But now, when I need you,
You simply don't care.
When I call to you,
You turn your head to ignore.
Every laugh, every tear,
None of it matters anymore.
All the times we shared, all the times we cared,
It's all in the past
And the past is the past.
Got to stop living in it.
I tried to hold us together.
What a waste of effort.
Each time I apologized,
You said it was fine.
I guess on the outside, it was.
But on the inside you blame me.
You blame me for what you couldn't have.
And now you pass me by.
We used to be the best of friends.
Now when we see each other,
We don't even say hello.
We look at each other like perfect strangers,
and to you, that's perfect.
On the outside I b**** at you,
And tell you you're wrong.
On the inside I reach out to you.
I cry each time I think
Of all the times we laughed,
Of all the times we cried,
Of all the things we shared.
But now I know you lied.
You stabbed me in the back.
The death of our friendship.
That had to be the most painful of deaths.
All my cries fell on deaf ears,
My screams mute to you.
And all my apologies were left.
Unaccepted.
Unaccepted, just like me.
I tried to please you.
I tried to be who you wanted me to be.
But I'm sick of pleasing the world.
I'm tired of living my life how you want me to.
But you won't accept me anymore,
Now that I make my own decisions.
Now that I do my own thing,
I am unaccepted by you.
I am "unworthy" of your friendship now.
You knocked me down and laughed at me.
You didn't care the pain you put me through.
Now I don't know what to believe.
Whether you care or not, I know.
You don't care.
That was all a lie, as was our friendship.
But what I don't know,
And what I wish I knew,
Is whether you ever told me the truth.
Do I even know you at all?
Has everything you told me been a lie?
But that doesn't matter anymore either.
My biggest mistake against you
Apparently was telling the truth.
Did the truth really hurt that bad?
Or do you know it's true?
Are you running from it?
Because it sure as hell seems like it.
As I stand here now I think of the past.
I know now that I shouldn't have trusted you.
But if you want to play the blame game,
I blame you.
I blame you for the pain I feel.
For the feeling of nonacceptance.
You stabbed me in the back
My so called "best friend".
And here we are, never to speak again?
But true friends don't spread rumors,
Don't talk about you behind your back.
You betrayed my trust, my love.
You betrayed me, and took from me,
What I once thought was real.
Betrayal, the worst pain you caused.





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