Beautiful Abyss

June 8, 2012
By Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway


Failure is a destructive but alluring sun of brightly concealed taunts.
A massive and molten dream that expands throughout the darkness,
Sending rays of passion out beyond.
It grows every hour with a stellar light to blind from the destructive intent.
It reaps the benefits of a lonely life,
Casting away and then pulling into a submissive orbit around itself
In the futile idea of isolating the soul from change.
And then the radiant and growing, growing hope.
So large that nothing could escape;
Nothing could pry open that fiery grasp until…
Collapse.
Sudden enough from passion to disaster that all direction is scattered
And the flecks left of desire and persistence fly into a supernova of crushed prospect;
Colorful purpose never to be made sense of.
Or the mass is pulled in by its own gravity,
Far too big for the mind to comprehend.
A black hole left in wake of the trust that once had been.
Or a nebula nursery to raise terminal hope again.
And suddenly beyond is no longer bright but abyss;
To those who dreamed, failure is this.


The author's comments:
Failure vs. stars

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This article has 7 comments.


on Mar. 2 2013 at 11:26 am
Anna141 PLATINUM, Yarmouth, Maine
23 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain."

Auth

Very good, keep writing!

on Feb. 27 2013 at 10:40 am
SteelersJdog GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 29 comments
I love the line, "In the futile idea of isolating the soul from change." I think that it captures the whole theme of the poem. The whole background of failure and its ability to isolate one's soul and make it hesitant to change. The whole "try try again" theme isn't that simple in the sense that accumulative failure has a psychological ramification on one's soul. I also like the comparisons that you drew from astrology. The idea of a black hole is popular, but it is used well in your poem. Your line, "To raise terminal hope again," is beautiful! What a great oxymoron, I thought that this was done excellently.   Overall, I really like this. As others have said, it makes you stop and think. You are very talented. You have a bright future ahead of you :)

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 15 2013 at 1:26 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

You are very good at poetry, the picture you paint is compelling, similar to the way I describe things like this.  Very, very good!

on Jul. 14 2012 at 10:32 pm
Chibi_Danni PLATINUM, Melbourne, Florida
24 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
!~Danni always loves her bunnies~!

Definitly a peon that has depth and makes u pause and think about the meaning behind it. Great peom.

Keep writing,

Danni


on Jul. 12 2012 at 12:56 am
Jessi_suarez1 GOLD, Kissimmee, Florida
16 articles 0 photos 98 comments
wow i loved the depth of this poem. beautiful. good job :)

on Jul. 11 2012 at 11:31 pm
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

beautiful intelligent words, but you have dragged it a bit too much in the middle, but a nicely constructed piece, and nice comparison though you have lost complete relevance with 'failure' as you talk about stars. but a good work. please check out my 'that scraggly young girl' and 'his smile', i'd love to hear your say on them.

Matt27 SILVER said...
on Jul. 11 2012 at 6:20 pm
Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as 'prisoners'." -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea

Your poem has an incredibly deep and powerful feel; it uses very intelligent wording and seems to roll across each line. The metaphor of failure as being bright and attractive before collapsing in upon itself and everything around it is great and a rather apt picture to create. If you wouldn't mind checking out my threads Jazz Been Dug and Painful Stares I would be grateful.


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