July 3, 2012
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Secrets hurt
they tear you up inside
and make you feel empty
they crush you until you are nothing
Secrets push you and push you closer to the cliff
and when you’re dangling by your fingertips
they keep you there
and watch you suffer
Secrets make sure that you can’t do anything to help yourself
All you can do is struggle pointlessly
while they watch
they laugh at you when you think you have found an escape
then they slowly peel your fingers from the cliff
until you are only hanging on by lonely one
Once they are satisfied by their torture
they will send you falling
and they will smile as soon as you hit the ground

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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

aritterx said...
Nov. 25, 2012 at 3:57 pm
This is poem is so true and well written! I never considered to think of secrets that metaphorically. Nice job!
remember16 said...
Oct. 18, 2012 at 6:47 am
this poem is so true!!!! I love it, keep up the writing; you should check out some of my poetry.
Pargaran said...
Sept. 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Love, love, LOVED this poem!!
*adds to faviourites*
Katie-jo said...
Aug. 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Epic poem! I loved it!!! 
Katie-jo said...
Aug. 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Epic poem! I loved it!
Angelea said...
Aug. 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm
That was incredible in a dark cool way! It makes me never want to hold another secret ever again!
Matt27 said...
Aug. 15, 2012 at 1:49 pm
This is great; it keeps a really sinister ambiance throughout the whole thing and still manages to build up to the climax at the very end where you hit the ground. Good job.
writer3499 replied...
Aug. 15, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Thanks! I really appreciate the feeback.
InkWriter13 said...
Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Wow. Deep and bitter. Agressive take on secrets. Perhaps you were hurt by secrets? I join you there, as others will as well. I like that the structure choice and the clarity you speak with. No confusion over your ideas. Just as a suggestion you might want to deepen your metaphors into something a little more original and unique to your style as a writer. Nice work! :) 5 stars. Thanks for commenting on my work, btw. 
writer3499 replied...
Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:56 pm
Your welcome and thanks for commenting on mine haha! Your an amazing writer!!
sbets said...
Jul. 25, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I didn't write that-I must've accidently copied and pasted TeenInk's advice. Sorry!

What I meant to write was:

Very powerful and thrilling! Good job!

Please read, rate, and comment on my poems! Thanks!

sbets said...
Jul. 25, 2012 at 6:44 pm
Please keep your comments positive and constructive. We'll remove anything inappropriate. Thanks!
Mr. Kuttner said...
Jul. 20, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Ouch! Secrets stink!  But life gets better . . . . very powerful stuff here!!! Keep writing- please!:))
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