Secrets

July 3, 2012
By writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."
-J.K.Rowling


Secrets hurt
they tear you up inside
and make you feel empty
they crush you until you are nothing
Secrets push you and push you closer to the cliff
and when you’re dangling by your fingertips
they keep you there
and watch you suffer
Secrets make sure that you can’t do anything to help yourself
All you can do is struggle pointlessly
while they watch
they laugh at you when you think you have found an escape
then they slowly peel your fingers from the cliff
until you are only hanging on by lonely one
Once they are satisfied by their torture
they will send you falling
and they will smile as soon as you hit the ground


The author's comments:
I tried to make this piece accurate.

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This article has 13 comments.


on Nov. 25 2012 at 3:57 pm
aritterx BRONZE, Jericho, New York
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
This is poem is so true and well written! I never considered to think of secrets that metaphorically. Nice job!

on Oct. 18 2012 at 6:47 am
remember16 SILVER, WhiteLake, Michigan
9 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is only a minor setback to a major comeback

this poem is so true!!!! I love it, keep up the writing; you should check out some of my poetry.

on Sep. 28 2012 at 12:48 pm
Pargaran SILVER, New Glasgow, Other
6 articles 3 photos 123 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are, and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

Love, love, LOVED this poem!!
*adds to faviourites*

Katie-jo said...
on Aug. 16 2012 at 8:10 pm
Katie-jo, Triangle, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 61 comments
Epic poem! I loved it!!! 

Katie-jo said...
on Aug. 16 2012 at 8:10 pm
Katie-jo, Triangle, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 61 comments
Epic poem! I loved it!

Angelea BRONZE said...
on Aug. 16 2012 at 6:21 pm
Angelea BRONZE, Downingtown, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” -William Allen White

That was incredible in a dark cool way! It makes me never want to hold another secret ever again!

on Aug. 15 2012 at 7:05 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."
-J.K.Rowling

Thanks! I really appreciate the feeback.

Matt27 SILVER said...
on Aug. 15 2012 at 1:49 pm
Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as 'prisoners'." -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea

This is great; it keeps a really sinister ambiance throughout the whole thing and still manages to build up to the climax at the very end where you hit the ground. Good job.

on Aug. 11 2012 at 6:56 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."
-J.K.Rowling

Your welcome and thanks for commenting on mine haha! Your an amazing writer!!

InkWriter13 said...
on Aug. 11 2012 at 6:42 pm
Wow. Deep and bitter. Agressive take on secrets. Perhaps you were hurt by secrets? I join you there, as others will as well. I like that the structure choice and the clarity you speak with. No confusion over your ideas. Just as a suggestion you might want to deepen your metaphors into something a little more original and unique to your style as a writer. Nice work! :) 5 stars. Thanks for commenting on my work, btw. 

so_joy SILVER said...
on Jul. 25 2012 at 6:46 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 724 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you want to see."

I didn't write that-I must've accidently copied and pasted TeenInk's advice. Sorry!

What I meant to write was:

Very powerful and thrilling! Good job!

Please read, rate, and comment on my poems! Thanks!


so_joy SILVER said...
on Jul. 25 2012 at 6:44 pm
so_joy SILVER, Navesink, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 724 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you want to see."

Please keep your comments positive and constructive. We'll remove anything inappropriate. Thanks!

Mr. Kuttner said...
on Jul. 20 2012 at 1:18 pm
Ouch! Secrets stink!  But life gets better . . . . very powerful stuff here!!! Keep writing- please!:))


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