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Taking the low road

The high road's been burned down
and the low is underground
dig a tunnel strait up
we're clearly all corrupt
running in the dark
praying the fists won't leave a mark
swearing we'll do better
if we get to write home a letter,
just ignore the screaming around you
tomorrow there'll be to few
fight the rats and the dog
for a chance to see the purple smog,
that burns and etches your eyes
making it harder to see the lies
and we're never going to reach our goals
and there's no hope for our souls.

Because the high road's burning down,
we'll take the low one, underground



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DynamoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 5, 2012 at 4:27 am:
Well, I think this should have gone to a rhyming section, not get stuck in free verse. I like the message but I think it has been presented in an abstract manner. For instance, in the third line, strait up can't be held as a valid term. And afterwards, it seems as if the rhyme has been induced. The flow is interrupted by these glitches and this mars the beauty of the poem. If you solve these few problems, and move on, you'l do fine. Goodluck for the future!:)
 
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twiggy said...
Jul. 9, 2012 at 9:39 am:
This is a very interesting poem that makes me sit and think. I'll be reading more by this author.
 
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