Losing people, that's typical. Losing guys, it hurts but it's okay. Losing friends, it happens, i'll cry and then be fine. But losing people, guys, and friends that know your secrets. That's like hell in a volcano. It's bound to erupt anytime and you may be damaged severely from the result of that lava...that's how i felt when we fell apart. like i would be damaged because once you were gone I couldn't control or begin to try to control who you spoke to and who you told. And that's what hurt the most. I was scared. And I was alone. But you found me again. But I'm not so sure I can call you my friend anymore. That was a title that you earned from the beginning and you may have to earn again. I don't know just yet. The fear you caused, it's still here. Even with you back...(skipped some) what if you erupt? What will that make me, what will that make us? Where will the trust go afterwards? Will it be to someone better than me or to someone worse? Will I be replaced or forever remembered? Every thought that rang through my head will forever corrupt inside of me because i'll never ask you the questions I want to ask you. I'll just accept you again, and try not to think of what you did or what you can do. I'll try to move on and part of me will. But part of me will always stay on what you did to me. And that part wont ever let go.
The Truth to Letting Go: Loving and Losing ( Part 2 and Taking Back)
June 18, 2012