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For my mom
I have always wanted to be just like you...
I always wanted to have the strength of a thousand women that came before me.
You had a way of finding the real person inside of me even when I tried to hide her
To lock her in a cage that people could never find,
Hoping that if I hid her away that society would never would be able to change her into a women that you would be ashamed of.
You had a way of smiling through the toughest times in the world
You have a way of putting me back together
Finding all of the shattered pieces of the soul that I should posses and placing them back in the order that would make up the girl that you call your daughter.
You had a way of loving me like the new testimate on judgement day.
You had a way of pretending that you didn't hold the world on your heart but I knew,
I could see your heart breaking underneath all of your defenses
You see you never could hide from me.
I knew when you were losing the women that you were ment to be.
Mama you have a way of loving me like an earthquake
Shaking your love for me into the very core of my bones
Your spirit metting me at my melanin never letting me forgett that my people are the ones who made me.
I will never forgett the women that you were because all that is left is a shell of who you used to be and I just keep waiting for her to reapear
But just in case she never does I will tell my daughter about her grandmother that she loved every day like it was her last
That she belleved in me when I couldn't bellieve in myself that she had a way of bringing out the god in me.
I will tell her that her grandmother gave me everything she had so that I could live the life that she never had
And I will give her everything that you gave me because mama...
You gave me more than any girl could have ever asked for.
Mama I just don't want you to forgett that I loved you.
That I love you more than any soul could bear to put into words.