why did i do it ? | Teen Ink

why did i do it ?

June 30, 2012
By Dezzylee GOLD, Cambridge MA, Massachusetts
Dezzylee GOLD, Cambridge MA, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

why? why me?
this young teen,
is passed out on her friends bed, shes smoked some bad weed,
and it was laced,

she cant keep her eyes open,
she cant even move,
she see bright lights every were, through her blurry eyes,

her heart is racing,
not being able to talk,
anxiety sets in,

she feels like shes fighting,
whos her opponent ?
no one but her self,
she fighting,
arguing,

she could just,
lie there and relax,
she could hold her breath,
stop trying to open her eyes,
if she never wakes up,
she'll never get in trouble,
she wont have to deal with the disappointment,

now shes just watching,
her friend aaron,
is on her,
shaking her,
begging her to wake up !
but she can't,
she can feel her self breathing heavy...trying to blink her eyes, she can even see it,
why is she watching her self she shoodnt be able to see this,

theirs people rushing in and out of the room,
theres yelling, and laughing,
soon the young girl,
who is now terrified,
sits up,
and trys to focus on her only friend,
who isnt high,
she pleds for them to call her dad,

but at first they refuse,
because they all now hes a fire fighter,

then everything goes black,
she feels her self falling,
she feels someone grabbing her phone,
they wake her up in panic,
your dads on the phone !
she freezes in panic,
she suddenly feels dizzy,
fear puddles in her eyes her,
making them burly,
the feeling that shes just another disappointment,
boils in her veins,
she answers,
knowing that she is now hours late,
sturing,
and confused,
she cant think of any words,

she passes out,
but this time shes woken up,
by her farther and all the other fire fighters,
she opens her eyes an immediately just wants to cry,
there asking her questions,
"do you know your name ?"
"do you know were you are?"

she looks in her farther eyes,
all there is,
is pain,
the anger and disappointment, lingers in his voice,
he asks her if she smoked,
she cant speak,
aand her friend says no,

her dad is embarrassed of his daughter,
but she cant blame him,
he knows her friends are lying, she doesn't remember much,
the only thing that she can remember clearly,
was waking up with her dad by her bed side,

hes so disappointed,
but almost sounds worried,

her mom is crushed,
She feels like shes broken her mothers heart,

so once again she feels horrible, shes never good enough,
theirs way to much pressure,

That night plays over and over again,
it just repeats in her head,

but whats done is done,
she has to deal with her mistakes,
for the rest of her life,


The author's comments:
This piece is in no way at all promoting drugs of any kind of alcohol what i'm hopping this will accomplish for people who read it is that you cant take things to make pain go away, or get back at other people.

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