My heart don't fade but its not solid for the world to handle but for God to change. Its for me to put the right connections together so it flows correctly. Lightly knowing the consequences of life I enter it innocent and leave it full of sin. I been thrown in the bin and I got myself out and now I have to wash off the stench of my past like a bath from a hard day. The difference is if you don't wash right it will haunt you.The wrong person will meet you and will tell you the cement made hard to walk on that its not good enough,crush your feelings and leave you to become learn by yourself with no guidance. You can call yourself self-made. 6.20.12 a day of ruining and wreckage coming out of the consequences in the crime I committed. I cheated on a test but not a written but something we call life..Now the law is on my back whipping me like the slavery days came back."Your gunna pay" the mirror of an older age and different wisdom says. "You taking this lightly" I wish it was something light like five pound weight than I would have been through it to the side but until then I'm bodied by a ton and suffocating as I breath,something like when mlk got stabbed....something like a stab. Unlike that event its self infliction..deep like a c-section. Flexing is what I'm not...but thinking and accomplishing is what I'm tryna make happen. Flashbacks of failure and nightmares of the everything falling apart and that becoming the settlement of my reality. Fashionably its on my skin color by society to fail but a new trend by each other to kill and boast that guns exploded with bullets that hit and never take back time except to look to the future to look six feet deep and like the saying goes the show must go on. The pen is the instrument to my pain but when I stroke,blow,press,tap,rap,sing,do you feel me??my question is do you understand when I write and change when I speak. I have the features to be the greatest but I don't know of them. Hard times test your faith and triumph test your nostalgic behavior. Never forget where you came from because its the hint to where your going...the saying goes. Pray for me because if I follow that pattern failure is where headed...failure is where I'm headed. Nightmare fragments popping up my mind scaring the people of my present like I'm not a dreamchaser. Can't wait to for heaven to be a mile away and I'm not laying down but standing on my on two feet...feet in the dirt so deep that you could feel my next movement. Solider until the death of my soul and lover til the death of my body but how long can that last before I become far from contemporary. Rarely I seem content so being bent by society breaks my bones no falling,or falter but something that can't be taken back but changed..like slavery.
Nightmares and Dreams
June 22, 2012