Paradise

June 21, 2012
By bigblue GOLD, New Market, Maryland
bigblue GOLD, New Market, Maryland
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is Love."-The Beatles


Fields of green,
And skies of blue.
Here with you,
This is paradise.
All awash,
With the colors of love.
Birds chirp,
And the flowers bloom.
Here with you,
In paradise.
The sun lends us its warmth,
Though we have no need of it.
For our love is a warmth of its own.
Here, the water is blue,
And the trees gently sway.
Or so you say.
But I notice not,
For i focus only on you,
My paradise.



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This article has 8 comments.


on Sep. 15 2012 at 9:15 am
CeCelia32 BRONZE, New York City, New York
4 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nobody had the heart to tell Steve the truth."











- The Bee Thing :)

This is a very sweet poem, and I think that everyone can relate to it which is very important for the reader. If the reader can't relate, they probably won't like it. You did a greeeeattt job!!! Keep it up!! :)

on Sep. 15 2012 at 9:15 am
CeCelia32 BRONZE, New York City, New York
4 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nobody had the heart to tell Steve the truth."











- The Bee Thing :)

This is a very sweet poem, and I think that everyone can relate to it which is very important for the reader. If the reader can't relate, they probably won't like it. You did a greeeeattt job!!! Keep it up!! :)

bigblue GOLD said...
on Jul. 1 2012 at 12:13 pm
bigblue GOLD, New Market, Maryland
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is Love."-The Beatles

Thanks for your feedback! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)

on Jul. 1 2012 at 10:01 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

cute poem! very optimistic, light hearted and bright, i loved the last line! beautiful, cant find any major faults. keep up the great work.

bigblue GOLD said...
on Jun. 29 2012 at 2:51 pm
bigblue GOLD, New Market, Maryland
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is Love."-The Beatles

Thank you!

on Jun. 29 2012 at 9:29 am
ForeverDreaming BRONZE, Acme, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm not a perfect person, I make a lot of mistakes... but still, I love the people who stay with me after knowing who I really am.~

If God brings you to it then he will bring you through it.

SO cute!!! I agree with Thorn about the rhthym but this is something that I LOVE to read!!! Great job :D!

bigblue GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2012 at 5:28 pm
bigblue GOLD, New Market, Maryland
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is Love."-The Beatles

Thanks for the feedback, Thorn! Greatly appreciated :)

Thorn BRONZE said...
on Jun. 28 2012 at 4:48 pm
Thorn BRONZE, Baltimore, Maryland
1 article 0 photos 100 comments
AWWWWW! That was cute. Great word choice and imagery, too. Only thing I would suggest is to pay a little more attention to rhythm, especially if you're going to use repitition. Great job! :)




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