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If Only I Could Make You Understand

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Sometimes, there are more important things in the world than yourself.

Not always; just sometimes.

I have been reminded of this today.

I'm sure I have learned this lesson before.

I am sure I will continue to try and understand this concept for the rest of my days.

There was a thunderstorm last night.

I was awoken at 3:30AM by:

A rip in the sky,

A tear in the world,

A break in the peace,

An interlude in the silence of night.

...Whatever you would like to call it.

Lightening.

Now as you can only imagine, I was kinda terrified.

Was I having an panic attack?

Was it an earthquake?

Was the roof collapsing?

These were my thoughts.

However, before I had time for a full on freakout,

I hear a whine.

And at that moment, a blanket of white covered my vision; as if I had been slapped in the face.

I saw: two leathery ears drooping and two enlarged brown puppy eyes.

It was my dog and he was mortified.

I'm his mom.

And what do moms do?

They protect.

Moms take away the bad.

Moms make everything less scary.

Because when you are young and innocent, there are many things you do not understand.

You don't understand why that little boy in your class doesn't like you.

You don't understand why you get yelled at for talking in the library.

You don't understand many, many things.

You won't understand why the stars are shinning or why the wind blows.

And all a mom can hope is that you grow up to be happy.

I was scared by the thunder and lightening too.

I'm not going to lie.

But my baby boy was scared.

And he needed me.

Someone actually needs me.

That's a nice thought.

Someone is counting on me.

I closed my shades.

I covered his eyes.

I blasted my radio.

And held his tiny body close.

What hurt me the most is I couldn't tell him why..

I couldn't convince him that everything was going to be alright..

People tell me everyday,

"Keep my head up."

"Things get better."

"It will be OK."

Do I choose to believe them?

That's right.

I choose.

I'm just going to pretend everything is my call..

Like everything that has happened to me was my fault.

My mistake.

What could I say to my poor puppy?

All I could do was hold him while he cried...

Listen as he whined...

And just keep whispering,

"If only I could make you understand..."





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