Courage To Grow

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It seems like it was just yesterday.
That New Mexico desert was so far away.

That was a rough summer,
But she made it OK.

Invader Zim and Xbox.

Boxer shorts and kisses.

I loved you.

You took me in; under your wing.
There was so much to learn.
It was nice knowing that there would always be someone to run to.

Someone who would hold me in their arms.

She loved me.
She was my mom.
She was my best friend.
She was the little crush in my heart that I could feel growing bigger each moment spent with her.

She was my strength,
And my defender.
She saved my life.

She stood between me and the scary noise.
She taught me everything I know about boys.

She watched over me that summer.

The summer when New Mexico never seemed so far away..

She gave me tough love.
But she never yelled.

She knew that I was broken in some way.
And she knew exactly how to fix me.

She made me what I am today.

We would run thru thrift stores; hopelessly in love.
We would lay in bed; wrapped up in each other.

..Talking about everything.

She took me in before I ever had the chance to be alone.

My parents didn't approve of you.
And this just made you laugh.

You were so..
Different.

Tomboy at heart.
You were one of the guys.

The first time I met you,
You scared me.
And I didn't like you.
You were defiantly an acquired taste.
But I never had a chance..

It was obvious to see.
I was clearly madly in love with you.

We were inseparable.
I was always,
"So-and So's friend."
But that didn't bother me.

I was beginning to make a name for myself.

I got dragged along to parties.
And introduced to so many boys.

And did things I would never do.
She was my courage.

Your always by my side,

But I see it changing..

I'm watching you take in people.
People who are just like my past.

I want to be someone's courage.

I want them to live life.

Because, life's about living, right?

She gave me love like the ocean tides.

She took everything from me,
And she was willing to give my love back just as fast,

Multiplied.

She can feel the slightest changes in my mood,
I know it.

She can break right thru to me.
I'm serious.

She can tell by just the slightest tense of my body that I'm not OK.

She'll say, "It's one of those days again, huh?"

And we tackle the day together.

Hand in hand.
One hug at a time,
One step at a time,
One breathe at a time.

Because she knows.

We were walking one day and I said,

"You know I loved you right?"

And she smiled her flirty smile that I have seen her pull on a million boys and said,

"Yeah. I know."

And I always will..
There was something about her.

I still love her.

I have her sweater,
She broke a pair of my shorts.

I have her heels,
And her bandanna.
Any thing that has her smell on it.

It makes me feel safe on some nights.

I'm trying to keep her with me.

Because those summers when I would lay:

On the hood of her car,
In her arms crying,
On her tummy drinking soda,
In the isles of the stores,
On her couch with the latest boy,
In the alleys drinking Starbucks,
On my bed with the wind blowing,
I didn't know..

I didn't know during the summer when New Mexico was so far away..

I never imagined you would be taken away...

But England is calling.
And you I know you'll be fine.

You will find a girl just like me.

Who looks up at you with scared eyes..
And you know what...?

She will see you as her everything.
I promise you that..

You'll take her in your arms..
And you'll make her feel so special; like she is the only person worthy of your heart and love.

You'll look at her with those eyes, and she'll melt.

She'll tell you all her secrets.

And her fears,
And all her dreams...

You were like my guardian angel.

And you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

I can't imagine you gone.

I can't.
I won't.

Because I'm just going to keep you in my heart forever.

If that's alright with you..

You are my courage;

My courage to grow.





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