June 6, 2012
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Two roads... split off from here,

and my life goes running in opposite directions.

Exaggerating the barrier between who I am, and who I want to be.

I'm ready to disappear,

Vacation seems far, seems far from here.

I'm Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface

I want to become so numb

And I know I end up failing

I can feel my mind, wandering again.

Into where I don't know

I'm sick of this scene,

I need a break from routine.

Which part of me is lost?

I feel so close, and yet I am so far.

Wanna scream out,

No more hiding,

I feel the weight,

Of lies and contradictions that I live with every day,

I tried to pretend it didn't matter

I was alone

I'm lost

I keep running away

yet I'm always stuck at home

I'm livin' my life all messed up and alone

So once again, alone in my room,

only apparent future is my unhappy and doom.

can't remember last when I was chipper and clean.

the only traits I show are depression and disdain.

don't know how I'm gonna live my life this way.

Don't wanna have to try, I'll just sit around and cry,

There's a tear in my heart where the love ran out

I'll never be so quick to trust again.

My faith in you, you poisoned me through and through.

My heart is cracked from being left out in the cold..

I am loveless.

I am lonely.

Oh, I will be alright...

The future's bright without me.

change your name, just keep your face. We're temporary anyway.

I cannot breathe.

I can't deny that I've been faking,

for you, every sign of life.

Should I give up,

Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?

I build myself up just to crash

I'm Ready to smile and love life

but I'm ashamed of all my somethings

I'm sorry but I'm falling

I close my eyes and brace myself

I don't want to be here, lying

I don't want to be selfish anymore

I want so much to change

And I am so lost for words

But why should I care

There’s a place so dark you can’t see the end

In the memory you’ll find me

Eyes burning up

The darkness holding me tightly

This is the last smile

That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

Everything falls apart

Even the people who never frown

Eventually break down

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

I Just wish that

I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed

This is me pretending

This is all I need

I have nothing to say

And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me

just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own

I wanna heal,

I wanna feel what I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long

I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

What do I have but negativity

I will never know myself until I do this on my own

And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed

I will never be anything till I break away from me

I will break away, I'll find myself today

I pretend everything is what I want it to be

I can’t pretend this is the way it’ll stay

I’m just trying to bend the truth

I pretended up a person who was fittin’ in

now you think this person really is me

I got a heart full of pain,

head full of stress

handfull of anger, held in my chest

But nobody’s listening

I've given up

I'm sick of feeling

I hyperventilate

Looking for help somehow somewhere

And no one cares

I had hope

I believed

But I'm beginning to think that I've been deceived

I believed when you told that lie

I'm falling forever

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