June 10, 2012
By oliviaferreira DIAMOND, Arlington, Massachusetts
oliviaferreira DIAMOND, Arlington, Massachusetts
92 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"You're only given one little spark of madness; you mustn't lose it."
-Robin Williams

A punch in the stomach,
the fatal crash.
Eyes red;
A complete and utter thrash.
Rumors spread like warmth,
though I freeze in a flash.
My heart begins to wither
and collapse.
Smashing every ounce of hope.
People say the world is a dark hole without hope.
The sun still comes out,
and brightens our souls.
today seems like my hope has burned to ashes.
tomorrow the darkness is coming
but for now,
I have God to thank
for tomorrow.

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This article has 1 comment.

InkWriter13 said...
on Jul. 1 2012 at 8:38 pm

Great poem. Strong ideas, most definitely. Favorite line:

Rumors spread like warmth,

though I freeze in a flash.

I love the antithesis there and the truth. You captured that thought so perfectly-wow. Great clarity throughout, but a little confusion towards the end. Perfect ending--loved that, I agree with you. But you might want to reconsider the repeating of tomorrow. The ending always seems to me like it needs to be the absolute"wow", the next step, the astute insight. Anyway, I think you should keep the tomorrow on I have God to thank for tomorrow, but I think maybe you could change tomorrow the darkness if coming....Overall, wonderful work. Insightful. 5 stars. :)


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