Dear Me

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Dear me,

You. Were. Prettier. Last. Year.

Write.
Write something until you feel.
Feel something.

Just wanting to belong,
To something,
Anything.

Anything is a risky word.
I’m done.

A risky sentence.

You were prettier last year.

It’s my fault anyway.
I’ll never know those famous last words.

No one needs to be misleading.
No one ever meant to be.

This way, you’ll always be there for me.

Hug me,
Kiss me,
Look at me with those eyes like an abused puppy.
I’ll always be in love with you.

Mirror eyes,
That’s what you have.
You are what I am.
You were what I became.

Like. I. Know. What. Am. I. Even. Talking. About.

Cry.
Mommers.
Go ahead.
I have.

Dear god,
Do you cry for me?

Pop me some pills.

Insane asylum,
Loony bin,
Psychology ward?
I’m in.

Is. This. All. You. Can. Write. About.

No.

Is. This. All. You. Can. Think. About.

No.

I’m in love with my best friend,
And it’s not you.

You’ll walk away too...

Dear spell check,
Apparently you can’t tell between an essay’s format and a crazy person’s thoughts scribbled out.

Eternity’s mystery
Running through my mind.

Indescribable

Can’t seem to find you.

34.
I think that’s my number.
Let’s make it 35?

If you're a cutter you'd know.
That's the number of scars on my wrists.

Don’t leave,
I know I’m not reason enough to stay.
But, you were mine.

You. Already. Knew. I. Was. In. Love. With. You. Though. Huh?

So what is it you really have to say?

It’s just a feeling, Doc.

What is it that you want?
I want to be out of control.
Maybe then I would have a reason for feeling out of control.

How poetic.

This is what you do:
You change your self.
Cut your hair,
Change your make up.

What is it that you WANT?

Why is it I have a hard time letting people in?

No, that’s not it.
Listen to me.

But. No. One. Cares.

I wish I could forget all the bad.

Like when you go to church and repent,
God would just wipe you clean.

But. You. Can’t. So. Just. Move. Forward.

Trust.
Pinky promise.
And you have access to my world.

My thoughts,
My memories.
And I’m more than willing to tell you.

Hunger is not a game.

You put up so many walls,
Jump threw my hoops.

Sit in the hot seat.

Make me believe I can trust you.

Who. Is. This. Kid. Who. Wants. To. Be. Apart. Of. My. Life?





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