The thought slowly drifts into my mind whether I want it to or not. Taking control of my body, driving me insane. To where I can't take it anymore. To where I have to. To where I need to. But, wanting and needing area two different things. In my case, they are the same. I NEED to get this out, WANT to get this out. If I do, it solves so little. If I do, I wish I hadn't. No matter the choice, I fall further and further into my incessant hole of darkness, only to enshroud from the light. The closer I get to freedom, I soon plunge back into the hold once more, deeper each time. I thought I was doing so well, thought I had banished it forever. What brought it back? What triggered it? It hit with me having no control, but why? All these questions are washed down the drain. But one still remains: why do I always give into these silly temptations?
June 6, 2012