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Alone; Freedom

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A room full of closed walls…. No air to breathe with…. Regret on mind, closed in by the mind…. No way out… forgotten in thin air….. I’m screaming for help but no one listens…. People ignoring me… no one hears my screams…. Yelling for help in an enclosed room… no windows, no doors…. Stuck there yelling yet no one seem to hear me….. I want so desirably for someone to listen to me to my screams for help and love…. I don’t want to be pushed aside anymore… I don’t want to be the child that no one wants…. The hated child..,…. The bad child… whom always does everything wrong…. The child whom tries to get the love of her parents no matter what… ….. but now I’m a forgotten child… left in the dark room… no one wants to listen to me… they all think I’m crazy… that I’m a ungrateful child… no one cares what happens to me in this cold, dark, no widows, no doors… room….. … Blood falling down my arm, dropping down on the floor…… a puddle of blood in front of me…. A knife next to me…….. Screaming for help yet no one listens to me… no one wants to hear me……. Why me…. Why? if I have always tried my best at everything… yet they all think I’m crazy….. ……. Left to get forgotten… I don’t seem to understand why do they hate me so much… if I was always trying to get them out of harm and trying to protect them but now… I’m here in this room in my mind trying to get someone to listen to me…. To get them to understand that I’m not crazy, that I just see things differently…. I deserve to be loved right? I deserve some of that love right? I deserve to be listened too, right? I try to be strong but I can’t, I try to be normal… but what is normal anyway? I try to be fearless but I’m not… I try to be the good child, but always end up being the bad one……. I tried to care, but I was pushed away… I tried to be free, but got punished…. I tried to explain but got put on the crazy list…. I tried to be loved… but that love wasn’t for me…… I feel left out… I feel empty….. I feel alone….. I’m full of stress… that I can’t handle… anymore…. I don’t want it anymore…. I didn’t ask for any of it….. I wish those people weren’t my family….. I wish to be free from this…. I didn’t want this in the 1st place… I just want to be loved… I just want someone to hear me.. To listen to what I have to say…. It’s hard to keep everything inside and not tell a soul… it’s hard to keep all this stress to myself….. This is too much pressure for me….. I don’t want to be pushed away anymore…. I just want to be heard…. That’s all I want to not be called emo or crazy…… or be pushed aside like a piece of old trash…. I want to be strong and free…… I want someone to love me…. To really love me for real… not just say they do…. … I wish to be free!





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