Constants dreaming you seem so far away but I cant deny or even try to lie to myself
by thinking that this infatuation is simply replacement.
For the facts remain as complicated as we once were. This “like” is based on a trip forward, a cool a** delivery while I’m spending every hit I need.
I can take a dime and wash her up stupid but that’s irrelevant. Finding myself not happy anymore as those black holes fill my emotions because what I want isn’t in reach at all and it sucks.
She sucks so well. Abandoned me for 4 months, while I’m pouring reticent emotions out to some other girl. The more I fall in I don’t know if it’s substitution, because the walls that surround me, suffocate my loneliness in a crowd.
Those walls are support, and yet I still feel alone. I feel alone with only thoughts of negativity. When I’m awake those thoughts in the dark, haunt me.
That constant awareness of her existence that once was walking in a dream that once fueled my compassion.
The haunting doesn’t end until my head turns sideways against that cloud. Suddenly all those thoughts shift to positivity when I start to snore.