More Than Hide and Seek

June 1, 2012
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I am from a never ending nightmare. One that I’ve always wanted to wake up from.
From the hope that i will forget that one. Never ending. Nightmare.

I am from a fourteen year old, pregnant teenager, not ready for a baby.
From a mistake. Never meant to happen.

I am from loss and death.
A five year old, not knowing what was going on,


like a numb brain. Tears everywhere.

I am from a nine year old saying no over and over again.
But it was like nobody could hear me.
Why didn’t he stop?

I am from negative thoughts.
From thinking everything is my fault. I remember,
even to this day, how empty i am and was feeling.

I am from a room that seemed to be getting smaller
and smaller, like it was shrinking.
From everyday since, feeling horrible about myself,
like i wanted to throw up all my feelings but i couldn’t.

I am from losing my innocence.
From deciding to tell my parents or not.
What would they think?! Six years later. Everyone knows! I didn’t want anyone to know.

I am from hoping. Praying! That it wouldn’t happen again. That i wouldn’t have to feel anything like that ever again. Why didn’t god listen? Why didn’t god help me?











Why did he want to hurt me like that?! I remember having the feeling of sadness and disgust.

From it being just a simple game of hide and seek, innocent and fun. To never forgetting the day that ruined my life. That turned me into the negative and insecure person i am today.

I am from not knowing where life is going to take me,














but knowing that anywhere i go in life, that terrible experience will follow me.





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