The Beach Has Won, The Beach Has One

May 29, 2012
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Gaping dunes level their shaven heads
and narrow their seashell eyes;

they are trying to lead that wee fish of a boy
to his wat'ry grave. They smoke on

seaweed cigarettes and spit salt water
smoke into his bloodshot eye;

leaving the other to be blinded
by that glaring sun suspended in

a heaven of vanilla-bean clouds and
beguiled birds. They send whirlwinds of

crabs to nip at his freckled feet
and gangs of jellyfish to sting

his blubbery stomach. He cannot take it;
the fish, the boy, stands upon his two scaly feet.

He raises his mangy arms o'er the jagged boulders,
unearthing two red holes at his left side,

and the gaping dunes begin to lower their shaven heads,
they begin to broaden their seashell eyes

just as the fish, the boy dissolves into the flaxen sand.
The Beach has won this time, The Beach has one this time.

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Eirias said...
Jun. 13, 2012 at 10:19 pm
I'm not sure what's going on with the title. . . The spacing seems very irregular. I'm not sure about the meter. It seems that an attempt at SOME form of intentional rhythm is here, but it has so many hiccups as t to be indefinite. There is also the cut syllables (wat'ry) which implies a purposeful meter, but I don't see it. You used some nice imagery, but I don't quite get the point of the poem, or what exactly is going on.
these-roses said...
Jun. 6, 2012 at 12:58 pm
i like the way your compaired the beach to a shaven head, i thought that was a neat idea. i like this!
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