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Silent?
May 31, 2012
2:13 AM,
In my room alone.
My house is silent.
The only sounds I hear is the creeks of this old house.
The rustling of the pet bunny in his cage.
The sound of my dad coughing in his sleep across the hall.
The branch to the oak tree outside my window rubbing on the metal roof.
The soft whispers of the wind.
The ticking of my clock.
The buzzing of a fly roaming my room.
The sound of me breathing ever so quietly.
2:17 AM, So I guess it's not really silent is it?
© Chyi-Dean S., North Tustin, CA
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This article has 8 comments.
Kenziemcm13 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 17 2012 at 11:54 am
Thank you dear friend! And I shall go check out some of your work!
Kenziemcm13 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 17 2012 at 11:54 am
Thanks so much! What would you do differently to the last line then? :) I would love to know! Thanks again!
Kenziemcm13 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 17 2012 at 11:53 am
Thank you so much! It's crazy how I just randomly wrote this and did not expect anyone to actually like it but yall do! :) And yes it is an old wooden house and no my dad has asthma hes always coughing :)But thanks again really appreciate it!
butterfly123 said...
on Jun. 7 2012 at 3:40 am
hey!
amazing imagery :D i could picture every single thing....if there is one thing that i could change , it would be the last line...but apart from that :great work and keep writing :D
subliminal96 GOLD said...
on Jun. 6 2012 at 9:18 pm
Love how this poem explores what silence really is. Excellent imagery- I could almost smell the wood of the old house (for some reason, I assumed there was wood in the house). Totally leaves room for spin-off writing too- as in is there a reason Dad is coughing? Is he sick? Sounds like an element of a new poem or a story to me :)!
Kenziemcm13 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 4 2012 at 9:15 pm
Thanks! This was just a random peice I wrote while attempting to fall asleep haha :)
Jordan Criswell BRONZE said...
on Jun. 4 2012 at 7:53 pm
Oh thats hecka cool! Ive never thought of silence in that way before. Very creative!
