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Living vs. Existing

You're barely even living anymore
just surviving – going through the motions
get up – eat – go to school – sleep – repeat
this isn't living, it's existing

you smile, say everything's fine
but your smile is brittle
about to fall apart
and your words all but drip fakeness from them

you practice
and eventually your smile looks genuine
if nobody looks at your eyes
and perfects words fall from chapped lips
and people start to believe your okay

but the truth is
they just don't want to feel
responsible for you anymore

and you start to drown
the water's getting higher up
and you can't live like this much longer

then he shows up
and he's all bright glowing eyes
and words that are always tinged with
LaUgHtEr
and when he looks at you
you almost feel fine

you try the same thing with him
practiced smile – fake words
but he sees right through you
and he sets to work
breaking all your carefully constructed
WALLS
d
o
w
n one by one

till all that's left is you
sitting on his bedroom floor
shattered but completely you

you're so scared
now that he knows who you are
what you are
that he's going to leave
run away & NEVER look back
but all he does is hold you while you
c
r

y teardrops falling like rain from the sky

but now you're living
and everyone sees the difference
you all but glow when you're with him
and you hope that their guilt eats them alive
because they abandoned you
they didn't care enough to stay and save you

two years out of school
you both vanish – it's like you never existed
except the letter that you leave – goodbye and good riddance
you're living out your fairytale
prince charming at your side

the end





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