I find myself yet again. In my room, lights out, music on, and crying my eyes out. It doesn't make sense to me that my own mother and father are the source of this emotional pain. How can they live with themselves knowing that because of their selfishness and actions their 14-year-old daughter has cried herself to sleep for the fourth night in a row. How can they just sit downstairs and watch TV when I am just above their heads heart-broken because they decided to do what they thought was best but what pretty much took all my happiness away. It doesn’t make sense. I mean I love my parents but I think it’s time for them to let go a little and let me take control of my life. Let me decide if I want to control it or if I want God to help me out. I am almost 15, I will be a freshman next year. Yet my parents keep holding on, thinking I am still just 5-years-old. If they could really see how much I have grown up since everything got out of hand last summer. They would understand my frustration. But they keep holding onto the past. How do I get them to let go of the past and just move on? I have really thought about running away a few times. The only thing holding me back is my younger brother. He is the reason I have chose to battle through life all these years. He has special needs and he is always at risk of losing his life. If I could I think I would choose to go live with my aunt for a while, or go stay at a friends. So I can just relax and try to cool off before returning home. I have a few friends that probably wouldn’t mind me staying over because of family issues. The only issue would be my parents probably would never allow it. They are kind of uptight about 90% of the things I do. But it’s worth a shot right?