I don't know  how more people aren't alcoholics? With the weight the world    puts on our shoulders, it would be a lot easier just to get crushed or not even feel the pain at all. An addict. A crackhead. A alcoholic. Something to make the pain go away. I'm impressed but don't get any ideas.

Everyday i walk past the cabinet, the same cabinet! It holds wines and cheese and all of the crap! Sometimes when I'm alone-- i like to be alone-- i want to take the bottles and smash em'! I don't care where the glass ends as long as it doesn't blind me!

I want to be my own person and my make my own decisions about myself. But now i have this haunting precedent over my shoulder waiting for me to take the bottle dry! No! I wont do it! But i don't want you to do this!? Why did you give me this?! Why did you have to try?!

Instead of thinking about it, i should get my mind open.  Air. Breathing- I'm living fully alive! I should live more- do more! I should sit in a field somewhere for the sake of calling it peaceful. I should meditate but my 
Mother wants me to pray! I should jog more- run actually, i should run into a wall! Maybe that would wake me up! I should and will dream! I have the highest expectations you know! I want to grow older but not too old! Just the age to make my own freedoms and decisions, decide whats good for me! But until then i have to get away from this because you're all driving my mad!

Shouldn't you share the blame?! 
Don't you want to share the guilt!