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What Has Happened To Me?

I sit here in this place,

so far from where I used to be.

Wondering, what happened?

How did this happen to me?

Remembering the days

of times gone by,

I promised I wouldn't do this,

I said I wouldn't cry.

I used to be so strong,

nothing could get in my way.

Now I am lost and forlorn,

how did I get this way?

Seems like just yesterday,

my future was so bright.

Now I can't see anything,

all darkness with no light.

The newspapers said,

that girl is going places.

Now I keep my head down,

afraid to look at their faces.

It is not that I am afraid

of what they might say,

I just don't want them to see me

looking this way.

How did I get here

to this God awful place?

No longer revered,

but fallen from grace.

I was always so kind,

so happy and benevolent.

Now nothing really matters,

so completely irrelevant.

It is all like a dream,

so empty, can't feel.

Most times I can't tell the difference,

between what isn't and what's real.

I start to shake uncontrollably

with unbearable pain.

My mind starts to race,

images begin to flash.

Pictures of moments

of me and my past.

A myriad of emotions

are welling in me.

Too much at one time,

I am now on my knees.

The pain is too great,

I no longer wish to see

what has happened to me.

As I lay on the ground

and the images finally go,

they are replaced

with a warm and comforting glow.

It's all coming into focus,

so much more clear.

You must see this to the end,

get up and see it through.

We must define ourselves by the best that is within us,

not by the worst that has been done to you.

That was years ago now,

times go by fast.

Things are completely different,

no longer am I outcast.

I know it will take some time,

to get back to where I used to be.

I will never go back

to that place of madness,

to the place of loathing, pity, and sadness.

For I know as long as I put my best foot forward

and be all that I can be,

I will survive what has happened to me.





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