Sixth Period Science Class

May 14, 2012
By Poetic_Person GOLD, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
Poetic_Person GOLD, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
18 articles 8 photos 40 comments

Time is sinking
At the rate
That my eyes droop.

Time is melting
It bubbles
And turns into soup.

I yawn.
It ticks
Slower and slower.

I sneeze.
It picks up
with the sounds of a mower.

Looking up,
My eyes are
Confused.

They meet
The teacher's glare,
Clearly, not amused.



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This article has 4 comments.


on Feb. 18 2013 at 10:40 am
Poetic_Person GOLD, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
18 articles 8 photos 40 comments
Thanks for the feedback... I'll work on the last two stanzas.  Hey, your welcome! You're work is amazing... it's hard not to say great things about it. :D

on Feb. 18 2013 at 3:02 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

totally relatable! i loved the first 4 stanzas, amazingly written! you could better the last 2 ones a bit.  p.s: you are a really encouraging person! thanks for your comments. :)

on Jun. 24 2012 at 2:51 pm
Poetic_Person GOLD, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
18 articles 8 photos 40 comments

Thanks for your comment. I understand what you mean with the sneeze and everything. I guess it would be best to explain my motives like this:

You're in a classroom dozing off because the class is rather boring. You are very close to sleeping all together, when suddenly you sneeze. Anything loud or surprising (such as a sneeze) tends to be very alarming to someone slowing fading away into dreams. You, very alarmed, wake up, but of course are very confused where you are, what you're doing there, etc. So as you are looking around confused, your eyes meet the teacher, who we know is not amused.

I hoped that cleared things up. If not, I will gladly rearrange and edit. Thanks for your comment. :) 


siglo15 SILVER said...
on Jun. 24 2012 at 8:19 am
siglo15 SILVER, North Andover, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments
I like how you broke up the lines, and I really like your teachers response to your sneeze and your boredom. :) It's really interesting the way you have time melt and sink, so it's not really personified into a person, but it does things most wouldn't think time could do. The only thing I don't understand is the relevance of the sneeze. Maybe you could make that clearer.


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