Mistake. Blunder. Loser. Accident. Waste of space. Gods lab rat. Aberration.
Like polyps your words coalesce inside me forming a reef of nonacceptance.
Building and building and building.

The slightest harm sends me hurdling back toward my hidden pit of depression where I’m trapped unable to escape my thoughts.
Why would it matter to you what became of me though?
My world is nothing but the shreds of my past and my crumbling present.

To you I appear to be just another troubled teenager seeking attention.
Well, maybe someday you'll take time to open your eyes and look behind closed doors.
Perhaps you could learn a few thing about what people really think about your character.
This time it wont be me getting tormented or trampled on by stampedes of ignorant criticisms, it will be you.

I just don't understand were you receive the courage to tear me down.
Perhaps the site of me cowering in self pity revives your self-esteem.
That your not the problem.
I am.

You single handedly burned the twinkle in my eyes out.
Along with my optimistic personality.
To then replace them with a clammy never ending gloom.

Everyday I must gain the strength to pull my good for nothing self out of bed and waltz to school with a smile upon my face, bellying the true agony I feel.
Yet I’m always the odd one in the crowd, no matter how hard I try to fit in.
I suppose I will always be the square trying to fit snugly inside of the diamonds cut out.

I have always had the invitation to visit God in his kingdom.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine times I have said no.
Today will be one-thousandth time because I’m stronger then you will ever be.
No person nor action will ever bring me to the end.
Life is more precious then anything and if your going to spend yours tearing others down, so be it.

Why are we dying to live when in reality we are living to die?
Thats the question that lurks inside my 'hollow' head.
Finally the answer is clear.
There isn’t one.
Because every one dies but not everyone lives.