Home Is Where Hell Is

May 12, 2012
By , Islip Terrace, NY
The silence can be my savior or my enemy
No one is screaming, I can hear my own thoughts
I don’t have to take sides on fights that should never happen
I can’t choose without hurting myself, why do I have to hurt when I am innocent
I was born into this, it was never a choice
And I wonder what the point of me was if I am the reason they stay miserable
Together they are miserable
We are why it isn’t over already, but it helps no one to live like this
Your mistakes hurt me too , and I don’t even think you try
But the silence allows my demons to haunt me
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, and it is impossible to savor today
When it is silent, they have given up
No fight left in them, guilt overtaking them
They apologize for what this does to me, but it will never change
They feel bad for me, I feel bad for me too
Why did they do this to me, it is not fair
How do you force me to choose between the two I love
How do you feel making me cry in my room
How do you feel forcing me to be the protector of him, the innocent and naïve
How is it fair I must diffuse the tension of them
What about me
There is not one to protect me
There is no one to comfort me, because it is your fault
They suffer when they are together
He suffers when they are apart
And I suffer, always
I have heard people say home is where the heart is
But in my reality, home is where hell is

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