Depths of the Ocean

May 17, 2012
By jackiee129 PLATINUM, Kent, Connecticut
jackiee129 PLATINUM, Kent, Connecticut
28 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It makes me happy when I see teenage girls who clearly don't fit in, gives me hope that the future might still have personality" - Haley Williams

“You are not your bra-size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe-size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress. You are no amalgam of these things. You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.”


One day I decided just to sit,
And watch the waves on the ocean.

They were small, gentle waves that swept onto the shore at their leisure,
Pulling away with the same finesse.
The setting sun glistened off the water,
Creating a mirror that spanned to the far corners of the earth,
Reflecting the brilliant colors of the sky.
In this mirror, the sky was endless,
Pruducing intense shades of orange, purple, and blue.
The water stretched up the beach,
Making its way to my feet,
Running its cool fingers over my toes.
The waves were a soothing symphony,
Their swell and crash resounding like symbols,
The pull like the pounding of drums.
It contained all the wonders of the world,
Buried in its vastness,
Gone forever.
Sitting there,
Taking in its beauty and power,
I felt like a tiny speck in the universe,
But maintained a sense of inner peace,
Of purpose,
That radiated from my core and crept across my skin.
The magnificence of the water overtook me,
And I saw the true beauty in that fearsome sea.



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This article has 7 comments.


on Jul. 1 2012 at 11:19 pm
jackiee129 PLATINUM, Kent, Connecticut
28 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It makes me happy when I see teenage girls who clearly don't fit in, gives me hope that the future might still have personality" - Haley Williams

“You are not your bra-size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe-size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress. You are no amalgam of these things. You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.”

thank you so much :) I love getting detailed comments. i'll be sure to check out your stuff!

on Jul. 1 2012 at 11:19 pm
jackiee129 PLATINUM, Kent, Connecticut
28 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It makes me happy when I see teenage girls who clearly don't fit in, gives me hope that the future might still have personality" - Haley Williams

“You are not your bra-size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe-size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress. You are no amalgam of these things. You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.”

thank you so much :) I love getting detailed comments. i'll be sure to check out your stuff!

on Jul. 1 2012 at 2:28 pm
blackrabbit GOLD, Norfolk, Virginia
15 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let it Go"

So I absolutely adore your word choice throughout the entire piece. :) Such wonderful diction really brings the reader to the place you were describing. 

Your metaphor relating the ocean to a mirror is a tad cliche though but I like how you place the sky as the thing/person looking through it. It's almost like subliminal personification, though I'm not quite sure you meant to do that it was still a nice touch. 

Then when you change the character of the ocean from an inanimate object into a living thing that is "running it's cool fingers over my toes" its engatges the readers imagination. Actually it can make the cliche idea of the ocean being an mirror into something new. 

The amplification was a nice touch as well. I could hear the ocean's orchestra. It was a nice song to hear. 

Great work overall. Nice use of figurative language!


on Jul. 1 2012 at 2:28 pm
blackrabbit GOLD, Norfolk, Virginia
15 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let it Go"

So I absolutely adore your word choice throughout the entire piece. :) Such wonderful diction really brings the reader to the place you were describing. 

Your metaphor relating the ocean to a mirror is a tad cliche though but I like how you place the sky as the thing/person looking through it. It's almost like subliminal personification, though I'm not quite sure you meant to do that it was still a nice touch. 

Then when you change the character of the ocean from an inanimate object into a living thing that is "running it's cool fingers over my toes" its engatges the readers imagination. Actually it can make the cliche idea of the ocean being an mirror into something new. 

The amplification was a nice touch as well. I could hear the ocean's orchestra. It was a nice song to hear. 

Great work overall. Nice use of figurative language!


butterfly123 said...
on May. 22 2012 at 6:23 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments
hey! amazing poem! i really liked the imagery and i felt like was next to the ocean ,as tigers also said. love this piece! great work and keep writing :D 

on May. 22 2012 at 6:20 am
Eowyngreen SILVER, Metamora, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't want to be forgotten, shortly after you are dead and rotten, either do something worth writing, or write something worth reading."
~Benjamin Franklin

Wow, I love it!  It definately makes me want to be at the ocean so badly!  You are great at using images, keep up the awesome work!

tigers said...
on May. 18 2012 at 4:25 pm
tigers, Arvada, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 50 comments
Awesome poem, i almost felt the ocean reading this:) Please look at some of my poems and comment on them. Just click on tigers, Thank you


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