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walking down the right road

I go higher and higher as time goes by,
my skin and my head is ready to burst
i drop habit after habit still chasing that rancid fanatic its pathetic
time goes by and a little more I see the light
but ridden with fright
my experience tells me the world bites,
and its not worth the fight,
but all the people I see
suddenly surrounding me,
begging me to open my eyes
and to look on the bright side,
but every day i am viciously reminded
of the sounds and the light of witch I'm so frightened
reduced to decrepit bones to restore,
everyone knows what I'm fighting for.
excuse after excuse to them it's folk lore
as the light brightens the darkness slowly disappears
its the judgments again that sear me with fear.
I recede,
I pull back,
I'm pushed forward,
I contract,
I move further,
I cringe,
knowing I'm finding that good person in me again.
A painful rebirth.
A me I never knew existed.
I hid myself,
personality bound in chains,
witch are slowly melting away.
Out of my ave I come slowly unfolding one wing.
Slowly my lips,
twist into a smile,
even forgetting my old lifestyle.
twisted in denial I recoil,
but i can't hide the smile underneath all the bile.
A spark of the fire,
that used to be desire,
desire to live,
and to do something big,
to fight for life,and do away with fright,
and own the delight,
delight of living with the light.
sometimes I just miss the daylight.
coping mechanisms get worse and worse
until then it's all rehearsed





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