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Liar This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By
in your mouth
you fold your paper-thin words up
like origami and grin when they take flight
as paper cranes
hope swelling in the beating of their fragile wings
filling the spaces between us
and bursting in front of my eyes
leaving
drops of happiness trickling down
forming puddles by my feet.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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thewriter19 said...
May 26, 2012 at 9:15 am

Very good symbols. to this piece. I like the organization of the words. But the beggining to this one could be more strongly stated and comas are needed to make this piece a masterpiece

But one more thing really bothers me...Why is the name of this piece Liar. I feel like the emotion being expressed is more of a lonly feeling to it. I could not point out any symbols that connected Liar to the paper crane. I feel like this is describing something else other then being a "liar"

 
k8husted This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 11:04 am
Shut up its her poem! Why get on here and critize or tell her things she should be doing? The beauty of poetry is that its yours, in your own way. Loved the poem.
 
bookmouse replied...
Jun. 5, 2013 at 5:55 pm
k8husted, part of the point of commments is to give critique in a kind manner. thewriter19 was not trying to tear down the author with criticism, but rather trying to give the author constructive criticism. thewriter19 also liked the poem (shecomplemented the symbols). I think you should think twice before you accuse anyone of "critisiz[ing]." Constructive criticism is the act of telling someone how you think they should improve and writer19 was doing just that. Consturcutcive criticis... (more »)
 
RaviTeja This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 26, 2012 at 6:05 am
Wow that was very beautiful and elegant, yet very powerful!!!!! Very nice...
 
RaviTeja This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 26, 2012 at 6:05 am
Wow that was very beautiful and elegant, yet very powerful!!!!! Very nice...
 
RaviTeja This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 26, 2012 at 6:05 am
Wow that was very beautiful and elegant, yet very powerful!!!!! Very nice...
 
Kitkat2013 said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 10:58 am
wow that was amazing:) its good to know that im not the only one who has felt the disgusting sting of lies...
 
Annoymous said...
Feb. 28, 2012 at 9:39 am
this was a great poem although i didnt know what it meant
 
bmoney22 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm
WOW GREAT POEM!!!!!!!
 
Molmanch1296 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm
This was really interesting to read and I appreciated your connection!
 
samisk3wl said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm
this was really good! it had great imagery and it got across really strong feelings.
 
samisk3wl said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm
this was really good! it had great imagery and it got across really strong feelings.
 
laurapauline said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:18 am
i agree marz!
 
laurapauline said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:17 am
This was a great poem with a good use of metaphors and personification, and all the descriptive words made it more interesting to read too. :)
 
marz42 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 10:42 am
This poem was great. You were able to portray a beautiful, sensible, metaphor without dragging out the poem. The fact that it was short made it simple and realistic. VERY good job. yours should have been #1 not #4.!! :)
 
lxiao said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:46 am
I love how simple this poem is. It comes to show how your simple words can portray such a strong message, and how the bully can hurt a person so easily through words.
 
bmoney22 replied...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm
hi linda ! :)
 
ellen5678 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:38 am
This poem has amazing imagery, with unique similies and metaphors!
 
Lillie M. said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 4:27 am
This is so moving and beautiful. I love how you described the puddle of tears at the end.
 
laurensoccer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 9:41 pm
The imagery is amazing and your words flow perfectly. This is exceptional and one of the best poems I have ever read. Please keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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