Replacement | Teen Ink

Replacement

May 9, 2012
By taylorbracy94 BRONZE, Circle Pines, Minnesota
taylorbracy94 BRONZE, Circle Pines, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

We walk through the hallways, you hold my hand. Your eyes are glued to me. It’s like meant to be. But when we walk past her, your eyes turn away, your grip on my hand loosens which lets the feelings of hopelessness, rejection and shame take its toll. I didn't ask for this, to be her replacement, to be someone to hold no more than someone by your side so you’re not alone.
I didn't ask to see this fake smile in the mirror every morning, to feel the deep emotion in my blood as it runs through my veins. I didn't. You never told me that she was on your mind. It’s like putting a paper bag over my head, a replacement on your mind.
You never told me you were talking s*** about how we weren’t dating, you wanted her back, still do, but because of you my hearts in two, you’re not worth the dirt at the bottom of my shoe, or worth the ground beneath that. But I’m not saying didn't love you, cause I did, I’m just saying I was the "replacement". A thousand knives went through my heart when the realization hit me. See, you were the first person I fell in love with, the first person to show me everything, but because of you I don’t know what love is anymore, because of you I can’t trust anyone anymore. I constantly wonder if someone is going to cheat on me. Because of you it’s not the same; love no longer has the same meaning.
A replacement, you replaced love, you replaced me, you replaced her, you replaced my heart and the way that you were in it. But now I have replaced you, yeah, REPLACEMENT.


The author's comments:
I wrote this for my ex boyfriend. My first love, you left his fiance for me and then while with me realized he had made a mistake...

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