Crushed

A dream is heartbreak
A dream is an incurable ache
Why am I still hurting?
Why does my mind still do this to me?
Why do I still want?
Why does my heart still care?
Why won’t I give up?
Why do I do this to myself?
I want to stop
I want to let go
I want to be free
To make it stop
Just make it stop
Leave me be
Let me alone
Let go
Let go
Rid myself of this awful desire
I can’t stop
I want to cry
I won’t
I won’t
I won’t throw a fit
I won’t cry
I refuse
Go away
I won’t stomp or
Scream
Until I lose my voice
Until my throat is raw
Until I’m dead
Dreams only hurt
I don’t want to
I don’t
Dreams only burn
Like ice
Like flame
Unlike anything
Nothing hurts like dreams
Because dreams are secret
Secret
Secret
Hopes
And loves
And wants
And deaths
Dreams are secret heart-wants
Secret heart-wants die
Before they’re born
Make me hurt
Die
Death
Dead
Why won’t I die?
Die like an aborted fetus
An aborted dream
Left to die
Before maturation
And the corpse
Sits on my heart
A dead weight
Pumping hurt
Poisoned blood
Poisoned
Cyanide sadness
Eating happy
In my veins
Numb
No air
Refuse the air
I won’t
I won’t breathe
I refuse
I die
Finally
It stops





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