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I want you to trace the outlines of my scars with your lips.
For you to suck in my flaws between your two rows of teeth, and
Consume me whole,
But your eyes are closed.
You press yourself against my womb and
Call me baby, but when you caress the
Contours of my Stomach,
You visualize my breasts behind closed lids
Rather than my gaping scars blinking back at you.
I am so naked, yet feel so
It’s funny how when we are naked we aren’t really vulnerable.
You’re not looking into my soul when I lie there breathless, so
Sometimes I wish my scars didn’t blend in so well.
That I haven’t gotten so good at this game of “Who’s the Most Sane”
That my own body hasn’t been fooled into thinking that I am flawless.
I am not flawless.
I hide pain and destruction behind folds of flesh,
But they are clawing their way out-
Where does this end?
Cycle of kisses to lips of kisses to hips of kisses to my knees, and nose, and all ten little toes
Without your eyes fluttering open to see that my womb is with scars and
Sediment is keeping them from healing.
Your lips never grace my cicatrices,
Your eyes are never open,
But my hands are in your hair pulling, and my lips are on your lashes closing,
So when I say I want you to consume me whole,
I mean I want you to take me away.
Find my hidden scars, and
Destruct my self-destruction with jaws that tear cicatrices from my body.
I want you to heal me without seeing me,
To feel my heart beating without understanding it’s pattern,
My body has tricked itself into thinking that it is
But don’t break your eyes open on my body.
Let me lie there naked.
Let me lie there alone.
I don’t want you searching for my vulnerability.