Compare This Pain

April 26, 2012
By AVERAGE BRONZE, Rosehill, Virginia
AVERAGE BRONZE, Rosehill, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments

The dark coal eyes locked with mine.
I wiped my tears,
Pretending I was fine.
The man then said to me,
"Dear, why must you cry?"
Looking down,
I slowly responded "He is no longer by my side"
I felt a sense of shame
in which i could not hide.
He then said, "Make a deal with me for a better life"
We were now face to face.
He pulled from his jacket a contract with vengeful grace.
I replied, "Any reason to rid this pain"
I grabbed the needle from his hand.
With a single prick, I left my stain.
The shadows began to wrap around me
pulled from me, my soul
My body tried to flee.
My feet would not go.
The sensation stabbed me 1,000 times
as my eyes watched the flames glow.
Death began to rip and tear.
I made my choice
but compare this pain to losing you;
It is still easier to bare.


The author's comments:
it's the pain i would suffer if my love ever left compared to death. i tried to write kind of like a story. im not sure how well it turned out...its probably not one of my bests but comment and let me know wht you think please.

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This article has 6 comments.


on May. 3 2012 at 4:08 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 488 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)
"Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

I LOVE YOUR WORK!!! <3  You're an amazing writer!

AVERAGE BRONZE said...
on May. 3 2012 at 11:17 am
AVERAGE BRONZE, Rosehill, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments
aww thats so awesome so u really like my work :) :)

on May. 2 2012 at 4:19 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 488 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)
"Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

No, it definitely came together very well :)

 

Oh, and just so you know, I get an email every time you post something so that's why I normally respond right away when it's accepted.


AVERAGE BRONZE said...
on May. 2 2012 at 10:18 am
AVERAGE BRONZE, Rosehill, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments
ha thank u ;).... thanks for the thoughts i wasnt really sure if it all came together well

on May. 1 2012 at 2:22 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 488 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)
"Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

I really enjoyed this.  The last line really emphasized what you were trying to get across.  I thought it was a great poem and excellent word choice.

 

*On a side note, hahaha I LOVE the picture with it ;)


AVERAGE BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2012 at 10:14 am
AVERAGE BRONZE, Rosehill, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments
my computer was messing up and somehow posted that picture -_-


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