i remember
sitting by that lake
talking of the trees
and the I.Q of worms.
we drank coke
and stared at the moss
that looked like inverted
clouds.
that was the day
i tried on her
engagement ring.
only for
one second.
just to pretend.
just once.
and my love was there.
He asked me to talk to her.
His need to know
if she was ready
far surpassing
my need to forget.
So her and I
talking til
nighttI'me
in the back of her car
greeted by
the creatures of the night.
That night
When he told me
i was wonderful
in who i am
and what i do.
i had the courage
to finally ask hI'm
why,
and he replied
using the word
'desperately.'
so i cried
because all this
tI'me,
that's all I've ever
felt.
But he loves what is.
not what was.
nobody can see me
but I'm
still here.