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My spine stiffens,
My hair rises,
My body shivers,
As the monsters embrace me,
Trapping me in arms
That feel as cold as winter.

I tried to pulled myself away,
But invisible fingers
Closed around my limbs
And dragged me down the abyss,
Into that terrifyingly inescapable,
And endless darkness.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 3, 2013 at 2:55 pm
I like this. A couple of things. I hate to sound all picky. Just that I wish you would develop the thought more. Like what is this fear. Maybe you don't have to be upfront about it. But like with your metaphors and imagery you could like imply it. Just a thought. Also I noticed that the verb tense changed from the first stanza then to the next. I know that makes me sound like a b*tch or a snob or both.But just thought I'd point it out. Otherwise, I think it's fantastic. It has an eer... (more »)
KeepLiving said...
Jun. 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm
This is written so well. It's so to the point and gripping, like a thriller novel that you just can't put down.
teamo14 said...
May 12, 2012 at 11:31 am
really interesting. :)
Dreamer7697 said...
May 10, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Pretty good! You made your fear into beautiful written words! I don't mean to advertise but can you check my work out too? Thanks!
snowleopard100 said...
Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:33 am
I didn't quite understand the poem by the side note cleared it up. In saying that, I love your inspiration for this poem and the use of line breaks to augment the strength of it.
TheCapturedBat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:08 am
this is so immediate and intense it is hard to read. it is so beautifully written.
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